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Tips for dating someone with Depression from @the_depression_chronicles11

This list was taken from @the_depression_chronicles11. Click the link to go to her instagram, you'll find a lot of usual resources on there.

  • Remain flexible with your plans. You may make plans to go out on a Tuesday but when Tuesday rolls in your partner might have difficulty getting out of bed. It's not their desire to break plans but their illness has made it harder for them to function. Instead, see if you can re-work the plan to do something together that doesn't require as much energy as going out does.

  • Understand that intimacy can be affected by depression

  • Not everything is about Depression, there could be genuine concerns about the relationship. Don't be quick to dismiss them thinking that it must be a depression-related issue or concern.

  • Practice compassion

  • Don't turn off your own needs. The fact that you're dating someone with depression doesn't mean that your needs, thoughts and problems don't matter

  • Don't be afraid to get involved. If your partner is comfortable with you joining them for treatment, then by all means, go ahead.

  • Learn how to support your partner. Don't try to 'fix' their illness. You can't fix depression any more than you can fix cancer. It's a condition that must be managed.

  • Remember that your partner has an illness. As much as you might wish that wasn't the case, it's not possible for them to just 'snap out of it'. Your Partner is not engaging in this behaviour to just be difficult. It's a condition that they may have difficulty controlling with or without therapy or medication.

  • Learn all you can about depression. There are a lot of free resources available including the page this list came from (@the_depression_chronicles11)

  • Take care of yourself, you can't pour from an empty cup

  • Practice effective communication

  • Remind them often how much you love them. Try to separate their illness for who they truly are. Don't use the illness to define them.

  • Don't add to the guilt

  • Separate fact from fiction. There are many myths about depression. Depression is not laziness or a sign of weakness.

  • Don't take their bad days personally

Extra from @helpinghollyy:

  • Reassurance is important. It hard to remember what's real when our brain is shouting at us and we feel needy constantly asking for it. Reassurance means a lot to us.

  • Don't get angry when you ask what's wrong and we say "I don't know" sometimes our depression can cause us to be sad without reason, sometimes we really don't know.

  • Invite us to things separately. Don't group invite and just expect us to know you want us to come. We feel left out a lot in groups and an individual invite goes a long way.

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